All the things wrong with Percy Jackson: The Sea of Monsters
by meggymoocow
Summary: My friends 4EverEpic and the pie123 and I went to the cinema to see Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters. It made me want to scream. So, here is a list of everything wrong with it. WARNING: Spoilers and WTF moments
1. Chapter 1

The views expressed in this rant are not only mine. THEY ARE ALSO MINE! HAHAHAHAHA! Sorry, my friend 4EverEpic just took over my computer. Anyway, I ddon't mean to offend anyone (namely the creators of this film) these are simply my MINE! Katie, shut up. NEVER!

WHAT WAS WRONG WITH _PERCY JACKSON: THE SEA OF MONSTERS_ - THE MOVIE

**ANNABETH**

Her grammar is awful. She says 'Same difference'

'Please tell me those aren't sharks' is one of her lines. She should know, considering that she is a daughter of Athena and therefore exceedingly clever.

Her complex relationship with Luke, described in great detail in the book, is non-existent

She is not angry with Luke about his betrayal of Thalia, in poisoning her tree

She's mean to have curly, blonde hair. She only turned blonde in the second movie.

She does not look like a 'typical California girl' as Percy describes her.

She's eighteen, at least. Seriously?!

**PERCY**

His hair is not as described in the book.

He is way too old. He's meant to be 13!

He can surf!

**OTHER CHARACTERS**

Tyson's back story is all wrong

The Manticore was there, but he should be in the third book

Luke can teleport. 'Nuff said.

There is another satyr who is not mentioned in the book.

**PLOT (dear gods, it was wrong)**

Major plot problem: Kronos is resurrected. WHAT THE F*CK!?

Percy was at camp all year, or at least it wasn't denied

In the great prophecy, they changed 'will reach sixteen against all odds' to 'will reach twenty against all odds', because they couldn't be bothered to cast an actor of the right age

Instead of chariot racing, they had a giant vertical obstacle course

No (evil camp director)

Grover was abducted by Luke (and yes, you should be WTFing by now)

No Circe

There was a theme park on Polyphemus' island

No Sirens

Percy's water powers didn't work in the Sea of Monsters

No meat-eating sheep

Grover wasn't marrying Polyphemus

They simply fought Polyphemus to get the golden fleece, no clever tactics were involved

When Luke stole the fleece, he somehow had Kronos' coffin

AND NOW COMES THE WEIRD BIT…

Luke resurrected Kronos

Kronos ate Luke.

Then, Kronos ate Grover. It was ridiculous.

Percy banished Kronos back to the coffin

All was well, until the Manticore stabbed Annabeth. Yes, I know. It's nuts.

Then the fleece brought Annabeth back from the dead.

Oh, did I mention? Tyson was shot with an arrow by Luke. However, he magically came back to life. Whoop-de-doo!

Rainbow wasn't called Rainbow. That just made me sad.


	2. Chapter 2

Well, I must say, I was overwhelmed by the response I got to this story! When I saw all the reviews in my inbox, I thought 'oh gods, I shouldn't have posted that rant, everyone hated it, I'm going to be banned from fanfiction, my life is over…' but when I read them, it turned out you all agreed with me! Some of you even suggested some other things wrong with the story, so here they are:

In the books, it is pronounced Thay-lee-ah. In the film it is pronounced Tar-lee-ah.

They revealed that Selina Beauregard was a spy in the movie (that's the biggest plot twist in the last book!)

In the film, Luke supposedly dies by Polyphemus eating him alive. How is he meant to do all the evil stuff in the next three movies if he's dead?!

Riptide is supposed to be an undistinguishable 30 cent pen, not a fancy 200$ pen

Percy thinks Tyson dies from the engine exploding in the books, whereas in the movie he just fell off a cliff

The prophecy is supposed to be Hero's soul cursed blade shall reap, not evil soul cursed blade shall reap – the whole point is that it is Annabeth's dagger and Luke in the prophecy!

Blackjack did not feature in the movie. This saddened me greatly, as Blackjack is awesome.

Annabeth is mean to be smart. There was just none of this at all, in the movie she was just a dumb blonde. In the first movie, she wasn't even blonde!

I'm sorry if I've missed anything, if I have it's probably because my brother (oh, how I love him) gave all my Percy Jackson books to charity. *slow clap* 


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